El Camino Blog

That's the fact, Jack!

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Not a Coffee House: Kaghann's Korner

Waterloo, IN, late at night, December 2, 2006 - On a long, icy cold, and eventually aborted trip up to Flint, Michigan, I stop for gas at a place called "Kaghann's Korner". I suppose you would call it a convenience store, although what I saw looked and smelled more like a greasy truckers dive with "Truck Parking" attached. First impressions inside: An old pinball machine, several displays of knives and rebel-flag Zippo lighters, and a plastic basket piled up with "Amish" treats. I'm not sure this is the sort of place the Amish prefer to do business with. Also, I'm wondering who smells more, an Amish plowboy who's never seen indoor plumbing, or the "no-sleep-since-Kaghann's-Koffee-ate-my-stomach-lining" wench who greets me stonily at the cash register.

A visit to the men's restroom: 3 condom machines!! What's that about?!? I swear, I didn't see anybody in that place I could bear to use a condom on. Apparently, SOMEBODY'S trying to surprise '63-Inch-Waist Susie' with a French Tickler! I decided to take some pictures of this little piece of "Deliverance In The Northlands". After the bathroom visit, I spied a bunch of old coots and biddies milling around a questionable-looking buffet. A click of the flash, and a few startled glares came in my direction. Whoa, don't pull your pistols yet, boys! I'll be out of this county as soon as I can make it!

Let me say another thing: seldom have I heard such scintillating conversations! "Ya gotta kill 20 crows - before they give up." Indeed. Goddamn crows.

Remember, if you ever try the buffet at Kaghann's, it's been visited by a guy who shoots and picks up dead crows all afternoon.

Back out on the Road To Flint, I soon discover that Michigan has an annoying tendency to make every inch of its freeways look as if they're 1000 miles from civilization. Good Job, Michigan, this highway experience sucks my will to live! I was heading for Flint, but I'm so bummed, I'm not even making Lansing. Of course, the winter weather doesn't help - ALSO Michigan's fault for being too far north! Just go ahead and annex yourselves to Canada, you donut-chewing drunks!


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