Burgers

Let's forget about all this fancy-schmancy coffee crap. I just keep thinking about....mmmmmmmm, burgers! Good stuff! I'm on the lookout for them every chance I get. I get two Value Meals now, because if I order just one Quarter Pounder, it's gone before I get home! LOL! Right now, I think I prefer McDonald's. Why? Well, there's something reassuring about that Corporate taste. You say, Corporate?!? Yuck! But think about it: If you want a good dental plan, do you get a job at a) a Corporate place, or b) a mom n' pop place? Corporate, of course! Well, it's the same thing with burger quality: you KNOW what you're getting at MickeyD's. But at Mom n' Pop's, you don't know if you'll get a) a burger from paradise, or b) botulism. It's a dice roll. But sometimes I get sick of McDonald's, and go someplace else. But not Burger King. Some bald goofball told me a few years ago that Flame-Broiling causes cancer, so I stay away from that shit. So my 'alternative' burger is Hardee's (NO, not Wendy's, that place is kind of girly). You can't beat that Monster burger, it'll get you through a cold Indiana winter just fine! I was at a Hardee's the other day, and this guy wanted a Hardee's burger WITHOUT CHEESE. The lady behind the counter yelled to the fry cook to hold the cheese, no problem. But I know what I would've done, I would've stared at him like, you dipwad! I just kept thinking to myself, "you dumbass!" LOL!

New Year's Resolutions (Reposted from last year...to save lives!)

Do not waste your time with resolutions starting in January. I don't know about the weather in your locality, but here in central Indiana, I'm waking up in the morning to -5 degree windchills and 30 mph windgusts. It's dark when I go to work, almost dark when I go home, and I'm in no mood to "eat healthy". I'm scouring the grocery stores for BBQ sauce, so I can have something to mix in with the crock-pot cocktail weenies. Heck, this is the one time of the year I'm BEGGING for carbs, to keep my mind off the crappy weather. You folks who are showing up at my local Bally's club for the first time ever, trying to work yourselves into a fitness jones...oh, pity on you! Look at your doom: You've put on 25 pounds since Halloween, which is turning your arch supports into pancakes; and you've picked the shortest, coldest days of the year to carve out an hour of your daily schedule, for the purpose of SWEAT, and PAIN, and LOOKING AWKWARD in front of a bunch of steely-abbed fitness junkies. You know what? Most of 25 AIN'T coming off anytime soon. Because, after you put yourself to the torture test at the gym, you're going to do something that actually feels GOOD, such as picking up a crock pot full of BBQ-soaked cocktail weenies, and dumping them over your head, kind of the way a Gatorade cooler gets dumped over the head of a football coach at that Super Bowl you'll be watching in late January. I told you so. Wait until about a week after April 15 (death and taxes day), when all the misery is finally out of the way.